Censorship
Fountain Pen Drawing 2015.06.15.
The officer takes my journal from my drawer and asks “What was you drawing?”
The laborers around us turn away their faces to pretend hearing nothing but my juniors are startled.
“I wasn’t drawing anything!” I say.
This is not the first time this officer fumbles my journal without asking me. The last incident happened when I was in the work yard. I left my journal and a used pen on the table when I opened the door for visiting officers. He rushed to the table and, to my surprise, turned the pages of my journal in front of the hundred of inmates.
The officer looked very displeased and said “I’ve told you many times. Do not sketch during your shifts. And don’t tarnish the institution’s image with your writing. Why don’t you listen!” He turned and left with the last words “It’s impossible not to find any problems in your 24-hour duties.”
雜役們把棧板拖車拉到定位，替代役學弟也幫著搬著桌椅，而我則拿起無線電對勤務中心試音，一切就緒，複檢站開張，準備今天的進出貨檢查。
Fountain Pen Drawing 2015.06.15.
The officer takes my journal from my drawer and asks “What was you drawing?”
The laborers around us turn away their faces to pretend hearing nothing but my juniors are startled.
“I wasn’t drawing anything!” I say.
This is not the first time this officer fumbles my journal without asking me. The last incident happened when I was in the work yard. I left my journal and a used pen on the table when I opened the door for visiting officers. He rushed to the table and, to my surprise, turned the pages of my journal in front of the hundred of inmates.
The officer looked very displeased and said “I’ve told you many times. Do not sketch during your shifts. And don’t tarnish the institution’s image with your writing. Why don’t you listen!” He turned and left with the last words “It’s impossible not to find any problems in your 24-hour duties.”
雜役們把棧板拖車拉到定位，替代役學弟也幫著搬著桌椅，而我則拿起無線電對勤務中心試音，一切就緒，複檢站開張，準備今天的進出貨檢查。
學弟邊擦汗邊對我苦笑，監獄的夏天就是這樣，四面高牆不僅擋住了風也將熱氣留在裡面，上班不到半個鐘頭制服就濕透了，我掏了掏口袋想拿手帕抹一抹汗，卻先摸著半溼的日記本，索性連同老鋼筆一起往抽屜塞。
「長官來⋯」
雜役立馬把還沒說出的字給咽下，我回過頭去長官已衝到我身後：
他抽出了抽屜裡的日記本一頁一頁翻：「你剛是在畫什麼？畫在哪裡？」
看到這一幕雜役們紛紛別過頭去假裝沒看見，學弟則看傻了。
「我沒有在畫畫啊！」我說。
長官翻日記的手沒停：「你還狡辯！我明明就看到你在畫畫還說沒有！」
這已經不是長官第一次擅自翻我的日記本，上一次是我到工場換同仁下來休息，日記和老筆就擺在桌面上，我才幫前來巡視的長官開門，還來不及跟報人數，他就一個箭步衝到桌邊，當著一百多個收容人的面翻起了我的日記，令我錯愕地呆立一旁。
「我沒畫。」我又說。
長官一臉不悅：「跟你講過多少次了，上班不要畫畫，你寫的那些文章不要影響機關形象，為什麼你講都講不聽！」
我再也忍不住，伸手搶回我的日記本，指著上面［本人日記未經許可不得翻閱］幾個紅字說：
「這是我的日記，你可以這樣翻嗎？」
長官丟下話轉身走人：「你的勤務不可能24小時都沒問題！」
我默默把日記和筆放回口袋，我想臉色應該很糟，學弟試著安慰我：「學長你沒事吧！」
「沒事⋯沒事⋯」我勉強擠出笑容。
「幹！也太扯了吧⋯⋯」學弟低聲說。
「林主管⋯」雜役小聲地叫我：「對不起，我們什麼都沒看見，進來關的不想惹麻煩，什麼都不能說。」
「沒你們的事，」我說：「上工吧！」
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